Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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