I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
