My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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