im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
