I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Boobs speak an international language.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
