you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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