You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
