We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
