i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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