This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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