she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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