I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
