I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
