My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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