I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
