I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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