Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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