I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
