so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
