Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
