operation have a gay friend backfired
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
