if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
