So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
