i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
