drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
