I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
