Farmville is her only friend.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
