all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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