if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize