I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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