eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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