thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh god the rape fog is back!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
not ubering you a puppy
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
