the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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