is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
