direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Green mimosas i think yes
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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