Duck Duck Cougar?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
