it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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