i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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