So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
