i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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