The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
