i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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