drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize