i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
