Pappa wants mamma naked
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Randomize
