: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
