I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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