two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
