Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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