He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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