then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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