Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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