Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
