I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
