Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
