I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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