they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
