You made me cry and you don't even care
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
