nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
